


One Last Thing

by hygge



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Letters, M/M, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 05:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12028914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hygge/pseuds/hygge
Summary: In which Dan writes an emotional letter to Phil after his sudden passing.





	One Last Thing

Phil,

It goes without saying, but I miss you. A lot.

Life is hard without you here. Things just aren’t the same. I’m numb. The apartment is silent. I feel like part of me is missing. You brought so much light, happiness, and positivity into my life, and it dissipated so quickly.

I miss your cheesy puns. I miss your laugh. I miss your eyes. I miss how well your hand fit with mine. I miss your off key singing. I miss snuggling up on the couch with you. I miss your voice. I miss your obsession with house plants and sweets. I even miss walking into the kitchen to see that you left the cupboards open or catching you stealing my cereal. 

I always thought, and I think you did too, that we would get a dog, have kids, and live a very happy life growing old together. And I wanted nothing more than to have you by my side to experience those things. But, I guess we don’t always get what we wish for. I just hope that you enjoyed your life and this entire adventure that we had together. Even though we only knew each other for a few years, they were, by far, the best years of my life. 

It pains me that we never got to say goodbye. Neither of us knew that would be the last time we would see each other. If I did have the opportunity to say a proper goodbye, and I guess this kind of is one, I would thank you and tell you how grateful I am for everything that you’ve done for me. From convincing me to start a channel, to supporting me when I had my crisis about dropping out of university, to showing me how to gain self confidence and not be afraid to be myself... I’m the person I am today because of you. You’ve changed my life in ways I can’t imagine, and I can only strive to be half as great of a person as you were.

You know as well as I do that I’m not a religious or spiritual person. But sometimes, I swear you’re still with me. I swear I feel your presence when I’m playing the piano, or watching anime, or even right now as I’m writing this at my desk, come to think of it. I tell myself that it’s you making sure I’m okay. And maybe it’s some kind of coping mechanism because I want to believe that you’re still here. I’m not sure. But if an afterlife does exist, this isn’t a goodbye and it’s more of a see you later.

I love you more than I can possibly articulate, and that won’t change anytime soon. 

 

TTFN ❤︎

Bear


End file.
